Our Meeting with Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips
by Ron Jones
In a loving tribute and farewell to Mark, his friends duplicated 200 CDs of Mark's favorite music mixes, packaged together with a CD cover, shown above, designed by Mark’s roommate, Audrey Gordon. This memorial CD was given to everybody who attended Mark’s funeral on Dec. 14, 2002.
The inside of the CD cover features lyrics from “Do You Realize?”, a simple and profound song by The Flaming Lips about the fragility and beauty of life:
The Flaming Lips was a strong musical presence in Mark’s final days. Two weeks before he died, Mark and his friends Dan Cousins and Kenny Martin saw The Flaming Lips, together with Beck, live at the Paramount Theater in Oakland. And the Flaming Lips CD, Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, containing “Do You Realize?”, was found in Mark’s personal disk player after his death.
Fast-forward about two-and-a-half years to Wednesday, May 18, 2005. I got a phone call about noon from Sharon Walsh, a sales rep with Live 105 radio in San Francisco and a friend and colleague of Mark’s, telling me that the founder and lead of The Flaming Lips, Wayne Coyne, would be in The City that night at the premiere of a new documentary about The Flaming Lips.
Sharon said the station’s operations manager, Spud, had just introduced her to Wayne and that she told Wayne about Mark's tragic death and this powerful connection to The Flaming Lips. She said Wayne was very moved by the story, and that he had subsequently invited Meghan (Mark’s sister) and me to see the film that night and then meet with him afterward.
We jumped at the chance, and that evening Meghan, her boyfriend (now husband :) Todd Coleman, Mark's friend Kenny Martin and I all went to the film event, not really knowing just what to expect.
The Movie and the Man
First, I must confess, I’d not heard of The Flaming Lips until my son’s death. At that time, I fell in love with their song quoted in Mark's memorial CD cover, “Do You Realize?”. But until we all sat down to watch the documentary, Fearless Freaks, I knew almost nothing about The Flaming Lips and Wayne Coyne, aside from Mark’s fateful connection to the group.
Watching the film, I discovered that this man is the charismatic founder, lead singer and driving force behind a curiously beguiling rock group that had been on the scene for more than twenty years, with a fanatically devoted and growing following.
It also became clear why Wayne was touched by the story of Mark and his death, as the film is a deeply moving account of the history of Wayne and “the Lips”, full of triumph and tragedy, life and death, joy and sorrow. And the film's often-delicate subject matter is treated gracefully and unobtrusively by filmmaker Bradley Beesley. I highly recommend it to everybody, whether Flaming Lips fans or not.
Todd, Meghan, Wayne, Ron & Kenny
After the screening, Wayne was kind enough to meet with our party personally for almost half an hour. We were all enthralled by this humble and genuine human being. How a person achieves his level of stardom and retains not only his roots, but his humility, energy and deep respect for life, well, I really don’t know. He is definitely an anomaly in the world of rock and cultural stardom. That may sound over the top, especially if you know as little about him as I did, but I am virtually certain that anybody who knows Wayne Coyne would validate this sense of the man. That’s just how authentic he is.
Wayne autographed CD covers and the like for each of us, adding these words to me on a Fearless Freaks poster: “Hey Ron! We are forever connected. See ya later!”
Thank you, Wayne, for bringing this connection full circle. See ya later!